Lately has been harder then most. I just want to start off by saying God has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine, but this one selfish desire has been consuming my heart. I have been telling myself over and over again...God's timing is BEST...and I believe that with all that is in me!!! My heart just seems to continue to ache for this one desire. What kills me is I know so many women who have been struggling with this desire waaaaaaaaay longer then I have, and my heart extremely hurts for them. I know that I am still young, but I want to be a mommy more then anything. I always have! Having a miscarriage and having trouble getting pregnant has put a fear in me that I never thought would truly occur. Of course I have had that "heart wrenching thought" (not being able to conceive) in the back of my mind before, but never did I actually prepare my heart for such a thing. I sound desperate and pathetic I'm sure, but I thought I would get this out and share what God has been teaching me. It is still one of the most horrifying thoughts, because in my mind I still will be a mommy someday. But the reality of not having our own children sunk in more then ever today. I thought to myself that this is all in God's hands, and I need to pray that God will prepare us for whatever journey that lies ahead of us. Worse case, we will have to adopt more children then we had planned ;) What a blessing that will be!
Pleading with God
God please take this desire
and do with it what You will.
If it is in Your Plan,
then let me trust and be still.
But if Your plan for me
is not in tune with my desire,
then calm this longing in me
and re-direct my fire.
You alone know
how desperately I cry at night
and pray every day
for some sign that it might be right.
I want to trust in You
for You know what is best for me,
but if my thoughts are wanting something
that is not ever to be,
Then God please take this desire
Take the longing from my home,
and help to accept it
and live my life for You alone. Newer Posts Older Posts
Lately has been harder then most. I just want to start off by saying God has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine, but this one selfish desire has been consuming my heart. I have been telling myself over and over again...God's timing is BEST...and I believe that with all that is in me!!! My heart just seems to continue to ache for this one desire. What kills me is I know so many women who have been struggling with this desire waaaaaaaaay longer then I have, and my heart extremely hurts for them. I know that I am still young, but I want to be a mommy more then anything. I always have! Having a miscarriage and having trouble getting pregnant has put a fear in me that I never thought would truly occur. Of course I have had that "heart wrenching thought" (not being able to conceive) in the back of my mind before, but never did I actually prepare my heart for such a thing. I sound desperate and pathetic I'm sure, but I thought I would get this out and share what God has been teaching me. It is still one of the most horrifying thoughts, because in my mind I still will be a mommy someday. But the reality of not having our own children sunk in more then ever today. I thought to myself that this is all in God's hands, and I need to pray that God will prepare us for whatever journey that lies ahead of us. Worse case, we will have to adopt more children then we had planned ;) What a blessing that will be!
Pleading with God
God please take this desire
and do with it what You will.
If it is in Your Plan,
then let me trust and be still.
But if Your plan for me
is not in tune with my desire,
then calm this longing in me
and re-direct my fire.
You alone know
how desperately I cry at night
and pray every day
for some sign that it might be right.
I want to trust in You
for You know what is best for me,
but if my thoughts are wanting something
that is not ever to be,
Then God please take this desire
Take the longing from my home,
and help to accept it
and live my life for You alone.
LOVE.
About me
Hello blog world, my name is Amanda and I love this beautiful life I have been blessed with! Here are a few things about me...
1. I love Jesus with all that I am! I will forever seek him and be his servant.
2. I got married to the man of my dreams at the age of 21.
3. I hope to have 3 children of my own & adopt 2.
4. One of my dreams is to travel the world. I have been to Louisiana,Seattle,Maui Hawaii,Oahu Hawaii, and many different parts of California and Mexico. Italy, and Greece will be our next stop!
Some other places that are on my top list are Ireland & Jerusalem.
5. Along with traveling, I dream of opening up a Christian camp someday. Where kiddos from all over can have fun and learn about Jesus.
6. I love photography, all sorts of music & movies, home decor, the beach, vintage themes,camping, the outdoors, and almost everything that has to do with summer!
7. I adore children and I have my bachelors degree in teaching (& my concentration is in English). I have my teaching credential and I'm so excited to see what God does with that in the future.
8. I am always up for randomness and adventures.
9. Country living is the life for me. Horses, beautiful sunrises & sunsets, lots of land to play, and extremely peaceful.
10. Skydiving is quite the rush, I loved It!
"OUR LOVE STORY"
JULY 10,2010
It sounds so lovey dovey, but it is a story that must be told because ladies & gents...
TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE!
Jared and I knew of each other through church and friends. We never talked, just saw one another at youth group a few times. Six months prior, I had been dumped by my first boyfriend. I had decided that boys were heart-breakers
and I was a loooong ways from getting married and finding the right guy. So I made the commitment to focus on God and school. During those six months God taught me so many things and I learned so much about myself.
Then one day, Jared (my husband) and one of our youth leaders decided to invite people to go skydiving with them. With skydiving being on my "life to do list" I jumped at the opportunity. He got the message out to all his friends, but no one else ended up going. It was just us three.
Crazy I know, but we were both excited to jump out of a plane! The day came, and we both were a little nervous. I began to think, "these two boys just might be the last two people I see alive" (i know,dramatic thought! lol). It was such an amazing experience
to be floating in the air. The drop was a huge rush, but then became very peaceful. After skydiving together, Jared and I just seemed to click. We had a ton of things in common, so he surly didn't waste anytime...he asked me to go on a date with him later that day.
He picked me up in a flashy red corvette, and took me to Tahoe Joes and to play some pool. He was so cute, and planned the entire thing. Everything was a surprise, and the last surprise was super romantic. He took me to knights ferry to star gaze...and yep...
there is where we shared our first kiss (Oh and I am DEFIANTLY not the type to kiss on the first date). I waited till I was 18 to even have my first boyfriend.
I could tell though that Jared was QUITE THE GUY, I could talk to him about ANYTHING and the way he talked about his relationship with God made my heart MELT. On the ride home from knights ferry he asked me to be his girlfriend. I
considered myself not ready to start a relationship just yet, so I told him I had to think about it. (He still jokes about it today that that was the longest drive home he ever had.) It wasn't awkward at all though because I explained to him
why. I prayed in my head about it the whole ride home, I was very hesitate to open my heart back up again to a boy that I barley knew. At the end of the drive I came to the conclusion that I should give him a shot, and get to know him more through our boyfriend
/girlfriend relationship. So after much back and forth thought, I said YES to being his girlfriend that night. It just so happened to be the best decision I have ever made; and I will forever remember that huge smile that lit up his face after I said yes.
We dated for 3 and a half years before we got married, but only because of my parents. We knew right away that we were meant to be husband and wife, but I knew my STRICT parents would never give us their blessing till I was done with all my schooling.
So we prayed LONG and HARD for what GOD wanted for us, and his timing was PERFECT! My parents didn't like God's timing because I was still in college,and it took them A VERY LONG time to come around (the ENTIRE 10 months).
BUT Jared proposed to me on a hike while watching the beautiful sunset and scenery, and so then... the wedding plans began! We got married ten months later in our beautiful small town church, and I couldn't be any happier! Jared shows me what it is like to love
like Jesus everyday.
GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD, and his timing is EVERYTHING! He certainly knows what he is doing!
Beautiful.
"Lord I am thirsty for more of you..."
1 Corinthians 13
PASSAGE: 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
REFLECTION: I have chosen this passage to start off with because it one of my favorites. I love it so much that I even have "1 Corinthians 13" tatted on my foot! (My first and last tattoo). The reason I love this one a whole lot is because I see the world so
full of hate, hurt, and sin. It sounds cliche, but LOVE really is the cure for it all. If everyone loved the way God describes love here, this world would be a much better place! I know that following this love is no easy task, and I am certainly not perfect! This is the reason I decided to get the tattoo. It is
a beautiful reminder to me everyday...to not be proud or boast,to put others before myself, to be patient and to demonstrate this love to my husband every chance I get. It teaches to not hold grudges "it keeps no record of wrongs", it also teaches to not fall into the lies and evil of the world, but instead, love "rejoices in the truth".
It reminds me to trust God with everything because he is the truth and the way, and his love for us is more than I can fathom!It goes to show that we can have everything else, but If we don't have LOVE, then we have NOTHING.
My prayer is that everyone strives to love this way! SPREAD THE LOVE... IT'S CONTAGIOUS! :]
1 Peter 1:13-21
PASSAGE: 13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
17 Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. 18 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.
20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21 Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
REFLECTION: With crazy schedules, world materials, and so many distractions, it is so easy to forget what God did for us. He sent his only son Jesus to die on the cross for OUR sins. I can't stress enough how thankful I am for his ultimate sacrifice. I
was able to take communion yesterday at church,and every time I do so, the image of Jesus dying on the cross really hits me. But I think that it is important to not only remember when we take communion, but to remember this sacrifice every second. This passage is a great reminder of this as well. I am fully guilty of
worrying about things when I shouldn't. I know that God has his plan and I know that if I follow and trust him completely everything will work out the way it is suppose to. We are human, so of course worrying is in our nature, but God is always there to remind us
that he has bigger plans. The bible says no one knows the hour or day of his coming, so we should ALWAYS be ready for him. He is a just and fair God who knows what is best for us. So my prayer is that everyone remembers this ultimate sacrifice constantly, and takes
the time to build their relationship with God. This world and all the worldly things is no comparison to what Heaven will be like. So when it seems like your world is crashing down or everything is going wrong, remember God has better things ahead for us. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ’God is a consuming fire.’” Hebrews 12:29-29
Luke 18:1-10
PASSAGE: 1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought.
3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ 4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think,
5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” 6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones,
who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
REFLECTION: God teaches a lot with this passage. In church we talked about how it teaches patience, to not give up, and to be bold in prayer. Prayer is such an important part of life, it is conversation with God. As I get to know God more, I realize how much
I need to talk with him daily. God tells this parable to encourage his disciples to pray and not give up. Our prayers don't always get answered right away, and I believe that is how God teaches patience. Prayer should not only be about asking, but also about having a thankful heart.
When I was living with my parents It was so hard for me to wait. I would pray that God would give me more freedom and bring me closer to my parents. It took years and years, but he answered my prayers. It took awhile for me to come to this conclusion, but what got me through all my tough times,
was having that thankful heart. I would thank God that I had a warm bed at night, and think to myself how worse off I could of have been. But God's mercy and grace saves me. I know during tough times and horrible circumstances, we can tend to give up and be mad at God
for putting us through trials, but everything happens for a reason..and prayer is a powerful thing!!! If we truly believe and hope in him, our hearts will mend,
we are forgiven, and we will feel his love surround us. I know that as a human being, I will never be worthy of his beautiful love, but he loves me anyways. This concept is so amazing to me because no matter how many times I fail of fall short, I know that
he will never leave my side. Knowing that my father loves me so much, makes me what to do all that I can for him. I know it is hard to wait, but keep those prayers going! THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR MERCY AND GRACE!
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