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Thursday, December 11, 2014
Our first Christmas in our first home! @ 4:35 PM

We still have to add some ornaments to both our trees (I'm waiting on some really cool real starfish and shell ornaments for our ocean themed livingroom) The other tree will be full of our most favorite ornaments we have already! Can't wait to finish, but while Everlie naps I thought I would give you all a sneak peak of the inside of our house. I keep meaning to do a full tour, but waiting on finishing up our room. Hope you enjoy the house as much as we do!!!

glare on the pictures...oh
This brown wall is better in person, promise. lol 

I love our piano and this advent Christmas countdown calendar I made.
Ocean themed livingroom

watercolor that I did :)

Jared did such a good job with our window seat (we have two of them in the house and they are the best spots!)
A little dining room decor
Our whole street is magical! Big trees and a private blocked off court...
Had to add some Christmas craft I did with Everlie to my watercolor dinning room decor. Love to kiss those hands and feet!!!
 My hutch is one of my favorites pieces of furniture!
Family room, this is where we hangout most!

The reason for the season

Jared redid our panels on our ceiling and I'm in love with them!!! So proud! 

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
I need you more than the air I breathe @ 12:20 PM

I'm a sinner...
I get caught up in the moment and over react more times than I should...
I am very hard on myself sometimes...
I can be a crappy wife and mother some moments...
I don't make enough time for the ONE I love most {God}
My house is a mess more than it is clean...
I spend too much time on social media and my phone...
Working on my patience...

Do any of you struggle with some of these?

I'm SO thankful for a God who loves me despite my flaws... I need him more than the air I breathe.
There is something about a person being REAL with you about life. It is so refreshing and helpful to know you are not alone. Being negative is one thing, but I think more people need to hear about your "beautiful mess". Don't be afraid of letting go. We all face things and we all struggle. As much as I love beautiful moments, pictures, my life is NOT just what I post on Facebook and Instagram. I'm a HUMAN, in a world where we fight to BE or HAVE the next best thing, why not ENCOURAGE one another in  the struggles! I think I'm gunna start a new page on Facebook called "The REAL lives and moments of human beings" Who would join? haha It would be fun to share life's little chaotic moments without judgement and to be able to SUPPORT friends during the more serious hard times life brings. Whatever you are going through or facing, lets "WALK IN LOVE" knowing that we are not the only ones who might need a break. GRACE is key....

*To that Momma who's kid is screaming in the store {"You got it Momma, I hope your day gets better!"} , instead of the usual stare down or dirty look of judgment.

* To that homeless woman or man {Remember EVERYONE has their own story and they are just as human as you and me} 

*To the one who feels like they will never be good enough, to the one who is lonely, broken, addicted, hurt, torn, weak, hungry, scared, worried, pretending, prideful, sick, shameful {"We are ALL broken, but we are in this together"}


Isaiah 46:4
"I will be your God throughout your lifetime--until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you."

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Just Breathe @ 2:04 PM

As my baby sleeps, I can't help but stare at her. Sometimes I find myself wondering where this crazy life will take her, but mostly I love to soak in the time we get to spend together. Being a mother really shows you what selflessness looks like. At first my mindset was all about how I had to face this battle to get the little one to sleep as quickly as possible so I could focus on getting the things I needed to get done accomplished, but oh how I was COMPLETELY WRONG. It isn't a battle at all, it is precious time with a treasure I have been given. Sure it won't be all happy times, but it is time we will never get back. My past wasn't my favorite place, but if I had to I would face it ALL again if it meant I could have the life I have now. God is so faithful! He has always been there and continues to teach and guide me. I am so thankful for my beautiful present, I look forward to my future (knowing God is in control), and I am grateful for how my past has strengthened me. Looking back, I have always been a people watcher, and my favorite views to take in are elderly couples and a mother or father with their child. I remember my teenage self daydreaming of my future life. Would I ever find my husband? Would God bless me with a baby of my own? I still am a "wonderer", but God has been teaching me to enjoy the here and now. Breathing in the small and big moments of life that I will soon miss! I will miss her tiny toes and fingers, I will miss those times I get to rock her to sleep, I will miss folding the never ending pile of tiny clothes and I will miss her early morning smiles (unfortunately I know the day will come when she isn't THAT happy to see me every morning). I want to be able to look back and say that I truly cherished each second and made the best of the "not so fun" moments . It shouldn't be this hard to believe that God answered all my prayers and more, but it still brings me to tears knowing he loves me despite my daily shortcomings. HE is the one my heart will ALWAYS praise! This song by Hillsong United is a great reflection of what God is showing is my heart's desire! 

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Thursday, January 16, 2014
Motherhood & Grace @ 1:40 PM

Yikes! Time always seems to get the best of me, and slips by way too quickly. SO much has gone on since my last blog. My sweet baby is already 3 whole months today. I can't believe it! She is the sweetest thing, and is only getting sweeter each day. I must admit those gassy/acid reflux days are hard to manage (seeing her in pain knowing there isn't anything I could do for it really tugs at my heart strings). We still have our days, but it has gotten so much better! OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUUUYS... I really can't describe what it feels like being a mother, but this is my poor attempt...

*That smile you receive first thing in the morning, will melt the hardest of hearts.
*That first chuckle will have you squealing with pure happiness.
*The conversations you have with them using that sweet baby babble will have you making sounds/talking in return that you would never want your friends to hear (they might think you to be a little weird haha).
*Reading and play time is my favorite time with her.
*Dressing her up is a blast, but so is hanging out in our jammies all day.
*Breastfeeding her has been a bond that I cherish.
*Swooping her in my arms and dancing to music with her lights up my  life.
*Going on family walks makes my days.
*and watching/listening to her sleep brings me such peace.
*Just looking at her makes me beam from ear to ear and fills my whole soul with so much JOY.
*Oh how I can go on an on...

I never truly knew how much God loved me until he gave me my husband and daughter. Sure, motherhood is not always easy and fun, but my daughter is worth it ALL. I am enjoying these precious moments given to me because I know I will never get them again with her. She is my first born, my munchkin, my sweet pea, my baby girl...and I love her to pieces.  I'm not going to sugarcoat it; I'm in total confusion about where my life is headed as a mother and disciple of Jesus...but God is SO faithful. He has been showing me that it is OKAY not have all my ducks in a row and for things to NOT be perfect like us humans are always striving for. We strive to have the cleanest house, the best gadgets, the most stylin' clothes, and society is always telling us that we are not enough. Shoot, we tell ourselves that very same thing! We try to paint the perfect picture for the world and our friends, but Mommas lets admit it, we all are a complete mess (if not on the outside, on the inside for sure). We need to dig into the truth and try to see ourselves the way God does. He loves us whether we fold that huge pile of laundry or not,  He loves us whether we have a bad day and don't act our best, He loves us even if we don't have the best figure, He loves us despite all our flaws. Give yourself grace and see how far it takes you.  I love my M.O.P.S group because I have been able to meet so many beautiful mommies, and it is teaching me how to embrace the beautiful mess I've been given. It has really shown me where I should be investing my time. Like I said before, time slips by in the blink of an eye....don't let it go by sweating the small stuff.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Worth the Wait!!! @ 8:51 PM

Hello my beautiful friends,

 I know it is kinda late to post about my birth story with my baby girl being over a month old and all, but I still think it would be a wonderful experience to write about and look back on. I thought blogging about it would be the perfect way to document it. Well lets see, it all started when I woke up to do one of my many middle of the night bathroom runs. I realized my undies were quite soaked. Sure enough the smell of bleach filled my nostrils; my water had broke! It was 4:30 in the morning, so I figured I had time to do a few things before we went to the hospital. I excitedly woke up my husband and told him I was going to jump in the shower. He was concerned at first, but I told him we had plenty of time before it got serious. To my surprise the contractions started right after my shower. They didn't hurt, but the nurse told me to come in because my water had broke. So Jared and I headed to the hospital still in denial that we would have our sweet baby girl in our arms soon. It was just so hard to believe. We had been waiting for a child of our very own for what seems like forever. I think due to my miscarriage I was even more emotional with the whole process. While in the car I started to tear up just thinking about meeting our rainbow baby. I tried to picture our first meeting as mother and daughter in my head, but it just didn't happen for some reason. Even though the picture didn't come, I knew it was going to be the most beautiful thing ever. We arrived, and boy was I in for a long day! I was hooked up to an IV (which I hated), but I sucked it up. Jared and I walked around the hospital (the little circle area that we could) and that is what consisted of most of my day. We were trying to speed up the process, but it didn't seem to be working. My contractions were getting stronger and closer together, but she tricked us and decided that she wanted to be born on October 16th instead of the 15th. I endured 18 hours without any medication, but couldn't have done that without my God or Jared. I played worship music and prayed to try to distract me from the pain. I also had an exercise ball that was wonderful. Later on in the night we found out that deep back massage helped sooth me. Every time I would have a contraction, Jared got his hands ready. It really did help me with the contraction pain. I had bruises from how hard I wanted him to press, but I would take that pain instead any day. It hurt, but the pain was tolerable until I became exhausted. Once midnight came, I was done. I asked for the epidural and I am so happy I did! I'm glad I got to experience it both ways, but I wouldn't of had the energy to push her out if I didn't get it. I was so terrified to get the epidural because my stomach drops every time I have to get a shot. Needles are not usually my friend, but this needle was definitely the exception! I was able to finally fall asleep, and the next morning at 9:06 a.m. she decided to grace us with her presence! My original doctor was in surgery, but it worked out wonderful because I absolutely love the doctor that delivered Everlie. I pushed for an hour, which went by surprisingly fast. I still had the epidural, so pushing was great in the beginning. The shot began to wear off toward the end and I began to feel it, but I was VERY determined to push her out. I had Jared, my mom and a ton of nurses and doctors cheering me on. Words can't describe how I felt when they finally put her on my chest. I balled like a baby and turned to see my husband doing the same. We cried together and just stared at our new daughter. Thankfulness and joy flooded my heart. It was a long labor, but she was worth EVERY second. I didn't have to picture or imagine anymore, God had given us a healthy baby girl to love on. Our biggest dream had finally come true.

Introducing Everlie Brooke Van Nieuwenhuyzen:
Born on October 16, 2013
6 pounds 14 ounces
19 and a half inches long
9:06 a.m.
(don't mind our bed head and my tired face!)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Jake & Allison Married @ 7:02 PM

 Jake & Allison's wedding made me want to get married all over again! I was completely smitten with all the beautiful details and I loved their fun go with the flow spirits. It rained, but that certainly did not stop all the fun. My favorite part of the day was when the dancing started, everyone was getting down with their bad self ;) haha. Congratulations again Mr. & Mrs. Messick!!!

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